Some old, some new, but all chestnuts – courtesy of George Young “One of the perks of being an unemployed musician is that you get to play much less bad music.” Jack Daney “After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” Aldous Huxley “Music is, by its very nature, essentially powerless […]

Thank you, Larry Harlow; silly but fun.   Everyone should play the same piece. Stop at every repeat sign and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat or not. The audience will love this a lot! If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your partners. Keep your fingering […]

by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee Twenty years of writing together are well beyond the usual Biblical allotment for collaborations, There are no bylaws in our partnership, and no formulated articles of faith. If we are halfway through our forty years of wandering through the wilderness of hits and flops, maybe this is a […]

…of those great emails, from Master drummer Ed Greene: #10 The Stick Bag Metamorphosis Having spent half an hour in the music store selecting the perfect pair of sticks, rolling, tapping and weighing them, you pull them out at the gig that night to find that one of them suddenly feels like a #2 pencil, […]

Courtesy of Rob Schwimmer of Polygraph Lounge “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” — Winston Churchill “A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” — Winston Churchill “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” — Clarence Darrow “He […]

Never start a trio with a married couple. Your manager’s not helping you. Fire him/her. Before you sign a record deal, look up the word “recoupable” in the dictionary. No one cares who you’ve opened for. A string section does not make your songs sound any more “important”. If your band has gone through more […]

by Tom Hurd In order to keep you abreast of the ever-developing world of musical terminology, we provide herewith the latest additions to the esteemed Harvard Dictionary of Music: ALLREGRETTO When you’re 16 measures into the piece and realize you took too fast a tempo ANGUS DEI To play with a divinely beefy tone A […]

SUPPOSEDLY ACTUAL INSTRUCTIONS TO THE ORCHESTRA FROM PROFESSIONAL CONDUCTORS DURING REHEARSAL          Once again, thank you Larry Harlow “Please don’t use the depth-charge pizzicato.” “Pianissimo doesn’t mean ‘Drop the fuck out.’” “Listen to the tune, and then accompany it in a non-disgraceful fashion.” “Let’s see if you can pizzicato together in a […]